i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
