are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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