I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
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