Your face is a jimmy john
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize