id be glad to
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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