U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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