I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Randomize
