apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
