Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
