It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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