did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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