If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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