Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
They have beer where we have blood.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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