Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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