Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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