whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
