also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
