i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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