If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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