Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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