I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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