i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
a search helicopter?!
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
