She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
