I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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