your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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