Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
