I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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