then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
What happened to fro yo and sex?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
This toilet bowl is my home.
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