There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
