we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
