apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
