Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
