I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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