Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
