Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
