piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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