Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
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