He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
