He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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