I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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