Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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