He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
