I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
is that a dick in a sweater?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
