it wasn't lemon gatorade
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
