the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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