so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
