by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
