i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
