i think i have herpe
just one?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
