I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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