So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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