I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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