dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
As shirtless as possible
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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