If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Randomize
