It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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