I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
