He uses pillows to masturbate.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
my god I love twenty year old dicks
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
