I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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